The Unknown Hipster

The Unknown Hipster tips on how to survive Fashion Week

Posted in Fashion by unknownhipster on July 11, 2013

Fashion Weeks are always a struggle: it’s challenging for the body, but also for the mind, which could be deeply affected. Inflated ego or lost of self-esteem, tantrums, insomnia, and combat stress syndrome are not uncommon.

 

This cannot be stressed enough: a Navy Seal is a real wimp compared to an experienced Fashion person. I remember Hamish Bowles once telling of his experience as a participant in am American wilderness Training Survival Camp (I think he did it as an assignment for US Vogue), and how big macho types started sobbing on the second day, while he smoothly cruised through the entire trek. No wonder that when you’re used to navigate the Fashion crowd, angry snakes or enraged bears are nothing in comparison. And one would rather drink from a pond contaminated with animal droppings than from your Fashion show neighbor’s abandoned bottled water.

 

Here are my own tips on how to behave in such situations, while remaining yourself.

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1- Be ready to strike a pose for the herd of Fashion bloggers waiting at the entrance of the show. I personally use airplane bathroom mirrors for rehearsal.

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2- Adopt the Pitti Uomo walk, also known as the Milanese walk. This particular walk has been largely popularized by The Sartorialist. Look back at his archives for the appropriate gesture.

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3- If you’re commuting by foot, it’s not a bad idea to start looking absorbed by your important thoughts at least 10 blocks away. A Fashion blogger could be waiting in ambush, and you want to give him the busy-as-hell-while-amazingly-dressed shot that will bring him 10 000 likes.

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4- Acknowledge your best-dressed competitors by openly photographing them. Make sure they hear you whispering « how gorgeous !… », like you can’t keep it to yourself.

 

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5- Unless you’re prominent within the Industry, being granted a good seat is always the harshest part. Don’t hesitate to bribe the PR assistants.

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6- A true Fashion person doesn’t eat (or needs a pee in 12 hours) but you might more likely be starving to your death. Pack a lunch, and use the long waits before the shows to take a quick bite. The bonus : a vomit smelling melted cheese panini will give you extra room.

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7- Lack of sleep, over-heated spaces, dull music, and especially tedious Fashion are the most common causes of patent drowsiness. Instead of uselessly fighting somnolence, indulge yourself with a 20 minutes nap.

 

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8- Bored with the whole scene ? Make yourself useful as a dresser. This high-responsibility position will teach you a lot, while helping to keep the interest alive until the next Fashion week.

 

 

 

 

6 Responses

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  1. HipsterApproved.net said, on July 11, 2013 at 10:08 am

    Love the artwork.
    Thanks!

  2. Alina Savin said, on July 11, 2013 at 4:38 pm

    I just finished reading your “Art contemporain” and “La chose litteraire”, I admire your cynicism and sense of humour. You obviously belong to these two worlds. Thank you for sharing your drawings and texts. Alina

  3. pretemoiparis said, on July 12, 2013 at 5:36 am

    Hilarious!

  4. Lulu said, on July 12, 2013 at 5:58 am

    entertaining as always :-) love the art work and wit.

  5. landakungu said, on July 14, 2013 at 10:30 am

    Reblogged this on landakungu and commented:
    My favourite witty hispter sharing his wisdom ;)

  6. landakungu said, on July 14, 2013 at 10:31 am

    Hahaha! Spot on! But I guess a great fashion show from a great designer is worth the wait & sacrifice :p


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