Back in the Fall, during FIAF Festival, Sophie Calle transformed a suite at the Lowell hotel into a whole installation entitled « Room ».

I went on a Sunday night, before the definitive closing of the exhibition at 11pm.

Most thrilling was to walk across the lobby of this luxurious and somehow discreet Upper East Side hotel to tell the receptionist: I’m here to see the installation… for it seemed highly unlikely that an installation was taking place there. Without rising an eyebrow, he indicated the elevator, 3rd floor, Suite 30.

Very few viewers, essentially women, were moving silently inside the room, bending to carefully read the narratives accompanying the objects that the artist had displayed everywhere. In fact, the room was filled with Sophie Calle’s works, from the bathroom to inside the safe to the walk-in closet.

 
Not seen in this image, a photographic portrait of Freud adorning the sink.

In the lounge, the TV was on with the news. The news on that banal sunday night was so odd, looking so much like the News in all its tragic excess or dumbness, that I thought it was another piece of Calle’s work.

The artist and her iconic wedding cake.

A tiny woman with big eyeglass frames (more angular than those of Duras) and a short skirt was sitting on the couch, checking emails while sipping Chardonnay.

She looked so much like the artist, that I couldn’t help inquiring :

-       Is it you? I mean, are you the artist ?

-       Well, yes, I am.

-       How incredible to see you sitting in your own installation! But… is this the real news?

-       This? (She looked at the TV.) Yes, it’s the TV. Why ?

-       Oh, I thought it was a work of yours, some video you could have also done…

She narrowed her eyes.

-       Hmm… that would be an idea…

After that, we had nothing else to say. I kept on watching the news, and her too, while taking another sip of white wine.

 A stuffed cat.

-       Do you also sleep in your installation? I asked.

-       As a matter of fact, I did. Just last night.

It reminded me of the first time I had seen her work, No Sex Last Night, at a Whitney Biennal, in the early 90’s. I stood for a long time in front of the video screen to admit that it was true, night after night, in spite of a wedding in a Las Vegas chapel, there was no sex, and they kept on driving on and on with the top down.

 

A red wedding dress on a half burnt bed.

 

A man who was also seated on the couch was introduced as her boyfriend.

-       Are you part of the installation?

It’s not very kind, said Calle of my innocent joke, and I apologized.

-       So how did you sleep? Did you sleep on the Red Wedding Dress, or did you set it aside?

She looked at me, surprised.

-       There are 2 beds, I slept on the other one.

-       I see.

Once again, we had nothing more to say.

 

 

-       And you, who are you? she asked.

-       I am the Unknown Hipster.

-       Hmm?

I indicated my url and she checked this very blog you are reading right now.

She didn’t seemed facinated beyond measure. She landed on the post about Carine’s karaoke, Anna Dello Russo’s legs and Valentino singing My Way.

-       Who are these people?

I tried to explain that they were giants in the fashion world, but she seemed dubious.

At that moment, a tall blonde woman, with whom I had earlier admired the installation inside  the kitchen fridge at the beginning of my visit, was now walking toward the artist to hug her.

She was a dear friend, and they completely forgot about me.

Just before I made my exit, I interrupted to ask Sophie Calle if I could take a picture with my iPhone .

-       Are you going to do a portrait of me?

-       I don’t know, I said. Maybe.

 

You might think that modeling is easy, but in fact it’s much tougher than it appears. Especially when — in my case for instance — it’s more of a acting job. To be clear: modeling is for sissies and the Actor’s Studio is for tough guys. Needless to say, you always throw in a sensitive note now and then to add heart-breaking depth to the most physical performances.

I’ve made this selection of 7 shots that give, I think,  a good idea of the breadth and richness of my interpretations.

#1- No matter how laid back you are, you can’t pretend to be an actor (or even model) unless you’re a true athlete. See how the other dude in this shot, three-time winner of the  Jokari World Championship, is paralysed by my technique.

#2- Here I’m demonstrating my disregard to pander as a DJ by playing an entire Joanna Newsom track admidst a hostile crowd. Note that the RPM was slowed by 40 percent for total chill-out effect.

#3- Part of the job is that you have to work with a wide variety of folks. I don’t remember exactly what was the point of this shot. It was right after lunch break. May be I went back in the wrong studio.

#4- A tricky one : « How to attract the attention of a French waiter ? »

For this, they re-enacted on my own experience of long hours spent in cafés, which was not really to my benefit: how do you quantify such an expertise, gained at the expense of your own pocket money ? You always end up being paid less than what you deserved !

Of course, the guy in a white jacket is not a real waiter, as he would have never turned his head in my direction.

#5- The job has its highs and lows of dignity. Here I was asked to show how to light up a match before leaving the bathroom as a courtesy to the next user. I had never heard of this, but according to French GQ, it’s customary to do so. (Beware of doing it in a plane though). The explosion that ensued shaked the whole building and broke the rear window of  the stylist’s Fiat 500 parked round the corner.

#6- Another odd one : I was directed to demonstrate how to drink from a shoe, with impeccable style and manner. If one has to pour Champagne in a shoe, it seemed obvious to me that my waterproof old Red Wings were the most apropriate container.

#7- When to use or not use a cellphone is a heady question. When I asked a young assistant her opinion, she explained that what’s impolite is to not multitask while being with someone: it gives your companion the awkward sense of being somebody of less importance.

The shoot took hours. To have the girls right all at once was the most difficult, Paul, the art director, had to stand on a chair and yell in a microphone, waving a red flag to get their attention.

And in the over-heated studio, the girls had to get their make-up redone every 15 minutes, even though the image was to be retouched by the famous Pascal Dangin. Just for my beard, Pascal had to work 5 hours to get rid of bread crumbs left by a bruschetta from the delicious Italian catering.

They were huddling in an assembly, and to debate, used their now iconic human microphone, which consists in the speaker processing short bits repeated by the crowd.

And I think

I THINK

This is

THIS IS

A useful invention

A USEFUL INVENTION

Which gives any sentence

WICH GIVES ANY SENTENCE

The tone

THE TONE

And shape

AND SHAPE

Of an Art form

AN ART FORM

Which turns

WHICH

Turns

TURNS

The ordinary

THE ORDINARY

Into the oddest

INTO THE ODDEST

And gives gravity

GIVES GRAVITY

And exceptionnal weight

AND EXCEPTIONNAL WEIGHT

To unnoticed words

UNNOTICED WORDS

And accidentally

ACCIDENTALLY

comical absurdity

COMICAL ABSURDITY

To excessive solemnity

EXCESSIVE SOLEMNITY

I thought the Dadaïst poets would have like it, or the early Situationnists, in particular the Lettrists.

Serious kids with long hair, angelic faces, listened to bums and fools.

Where art thou, Isidore Isou ?

Peter Smith in a Paul Smith ad

It seems that autumn magazine ads these days are all about S&M widows, or models in fake artists studios (the painter’s palette reworked by the make-up artist), when they don’t simply mimic, at the photographer’s command, a violent orgasm produced by a new perfume or hand-bag.

That’s why I was stunned the other day to see my friend Peter Smith in a Paul Smith ad, staring out with reasonable and limited excitement at the viewer from the pages of Wallpaper magazine.

Peter lives in London, and with Andrew Hale does the music for the Paul Smith shows. In the ad Peter looks normal. You can trace on his face all the music he has been listening to, and he is not trying to have the crazy wild actor look of some young dudes in the same situation.

We share a common interest for sad songs, and sometimes for fun Peter would email me one, and I try to email him back a sadder one, but he always win. Of course, what is really sad is not to know the girl who stands modestly in the back of the ad. I believe her name is Valerija Kelava. She looks less futile and more thoughtful than most models, but may be it’s at Sir Paul Smith’s command.

London Women’s Show Music Listing (Music production by Peter Smith and Andrew Hale):

1. Nico – All Tomorrow’s Parties

2. Vitamin String Quartet – All Tomorrow’s Parties

3. Yawn – candle

4. The Kills – Heart is a Beating Drum

5. Lykke Li – Youth Knows No Pain

6. Little Dragon – Nightlight.

7. Yawn – Magician

Finale: Rolling stones – She’s a Rainbow

A few minutes latter, as I was walking with renewed energy on Lafayette Street, she called again : « they want to know what our favorite songs are, it’s  karaoke ! »

Had I gone to Tokyo at least 15 times and always successfully avoided karaoke parties to finally get trapped into one in NY ? Is there a more depressing scene than drunks trying to read the upcoming lyrics on a TV screen to blaring 80s hits ?

Carine in a gold vintage dress

But of course, as masterminded by Carine, it was going to be something else, and with high anticipation we made our approach to Westway, the former strip-club, where the party was happening.

Limousines were jammed on Clarkson street, and squads of it girls and models on high heels were carefully navigating the cobble stones, exposing  their million dollars legs to the outdoors spotlights.

I was in fear that somebody would push me on the stage, just for fun. What would I sing ? The only song I know is Syd Barrett‘s « Effervescing Elephant ».

It turned out to be the most professional karaoke event one could witness. The Fashion people all hit the stage – which looks rather like a catwalk –  with stunning confidence. Not only they never sang out of tune, but they could dance across the stage back and forth, and do all the things performers do like pointing at the crowd, and probably pole dancing as well.

A cross-disciplinary talent that you could hardly imagine among true rock stars who usually show a lack of expertise when it comes down to Fashion : shiny jackets with wide shoulders, leather pants, etc…

The flashes on iphones burnt out during Anna della Russo’s number

The Italians were especially good. Even the cynical fashion assistants have to change their minds when they realized their most feared celebrities were showing genuine warmth, good humor, and sincere emotions. Everybody sensed a historical moment when Valentino’s rendition of « My Way » almost one-upped Sinatra’s Vegas version.

Valentino singing « My Way »

As we left the party and walked along the West Side Highway with imagined scenes of endless rehearsals in burgundy bathrobes late at night in the privacy of the hotel’s palace suite, a small anonymous car overloaded with men suddenly pulled along the sidewalk. All the doors opened at once and the passengers bursted out like undercover policemen about to seize somebody.

A young lad in a torn tee-shirt ran out of the car to take refuge against a wall, where he theatrically faced his pursuers. Among the gang’s sinister faces we were relieved to recognize Terry Richardson’s,  thanks to his plaid shirt and signature moustache, this time he didn’t had his thumbs up but was aiming his Powershot at the young actor.

Terry immediately started to fire flashes at his subject, who obligingly gave varied poses.

It seemed the complete New York Fashion scene had decided to unfold  in just one night.

This was last Monday night, at Silencio, David Lynch’s new club.

The metal stairs that lead you down at least 3 stories underground seem never to end.  And as a matter of fact, as you go down there’s a profound, gravely silence.

The club is a succession of small mirrored rooms, with the overall feeling of being lost in the secret chambers of a pyramid. I even found myself walking like an Egyptian.

One of the redesigned caves is a low lit lounge called the Art Library. David Lynch selected a small number of monolith books to decorate the 2 glossy shelves that run along the curved walls. Waiting for Housse de Racket to play, and surrounded by young couples kissing, I picked up one of the coffin-entombed coffee table books, only to realize it was too dark to see.

I thought I would be more into Housse de Racket’s name (it’s better than Housse de Couette, but not as poetic as Uneven Dusk, my former band’s name) than their music, but they were damn good live, they  really shaked the Silencio. And now, I can’t get their hit number « Château » out of my head, while I would normally have preferred the more psychedelic « Empire ».

 Pierre jumped of the stage in his boat shoes.

I was walking down rue de Richelieu in Paris recently when I stopped by Kitsuné, the music label and clothing company created by Gildas and Masaya. By coincidence they were showing some drawings from their collaboration with Jean-Philippe Delhomme.

Gildas Loaec and Masaya Kuroki

Gildas just returned from deejaying in some distant location of the world. It’s always difficult to figure out what time it is for him. He ends his email conversations with phrases like « I’ve to work now » and it’s 2 am In Kyoto or Bangkok. I’m always trying to learn the secrets of his trade when we have lunch, in case one day somebody asks me to play my box of psychedelic records in front of a roaring crowd.

Masaya gave me a plaid shirt from their autumn collection, which would nicely replaced mine from the Brooklyn Flea, and a new Guards 7 inch. He guessed Guards was more down my alley than Housse de Racket (although I love their name). And he is right, play “don’t wake the dead“, and the world is yours. At least, temporary.

Two examples of the works shown:

« Neville thought the three men will be great on his Fashion blog. »

« Man, have you ever thought of doing jazz album covers ? »

“Stop me if this poem is too long.”

Until October 5th, 52 rue de Richelieu, 75001 Paris

On September 9th Andy did a one day installation at the Half Gallery.

In a work entitled « Casa Grande AZ 1972-1975 » 30 cacti of various shapes were arrayed on the floor, while black ballons floated above, up against the ceiling.

As the gallery text said : « Andy Spade’s first solo show offers a glimpse into his youth growing up in a small town Arizona town. In a household with a new stepfather, he and his brothers felt the tension between his fits of rage and depression and his mother’s blind, yet always sunny disposition. This installation represents the sublimation of childhood disenfranchisement. »

The deflating balloons exploded when low enough to touch the cacti, and their number gradually diminished.

This slow but inevitable process went on all night behind the gallery’s closed door.

A man looking like Jeff Bridges in a rescue team movie, except this was the real thing.

Paul Simon sings « The Sound of Silence »

A police officer wipes his eyes at the end of the song.

A thundering biker stopped for photos.